I find it hilarious that while we were watching the celebrity Jeopardy! tournament tonight, Jans physically recoiled when the dude from Law & Order: SVU answered stegosaurus to a question that was about a triceratops. XD

I has to art this weekend... sometime between all the Xmas party, car servicing, errands, and cookie baking I already have planned. 6.6

I haven't been doing much since NaNo ended. I need to revisit my works in progress list. I'd forgotten that one of the reasons I was eager to get the calendar done was that I could then spend time finishing art from my old sketchbook. Still have to finish the painting I was doing and draw my Side 7 Secret Santa gift first, but after that, it's art strictly for me. That little tirade and the resulting decisions made as a result of doing the calendar cover was not a short-lived thing. As much as I need to force myself to work and stop being intimidated by art that might not come out perfect, I am still feeling pretty fragile when it comes to art.

Need to get back to writing as well. NaNo didn't give me the same push to just keep writing after it was done this year as it did last year, considering this year's story didn't turn out so well. Still trying to develop other ideas, but Jeremy is right there, and this is the perfect time of year to write Eyes.

I thought I had more to say on the topic than that. Oh well. I'd better get painting, anyway.

( Let's start with a sketch. )

So, the last week... ay, what to say? Where to start, even. It took me a few days of roller coaster moods to realize I'm not really in a bad state at the moment, I'm just getting really emotionally invested in the somewhat depressing memoir I'm reading, haha.

I've been on the hunt for Christmas music, but I realized I've been going about my search wrong. After picking up a CD last year of classic 20th-century music by the original artists - e.g., Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree, It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, etc. - I wanted to find the perfect collection/performance of carols, which I have thus far been unable to find.

Then it occurred to me that Christmas music, carols in particular, are the ultimate remixes. There are several game music tracks that I have at least half a dozen remixes of and love every one of them for its different take on the original. I don't know if there are still many Christmas albums I'd actually want, but I of all people should be open to the idea of different renditions of the songs I love. We'll see if I can actually get out somewhere with a decent selection of Christmas music, though. The London Symphony Orchestra does a nice Nutcracker, at least.

Frak, it's late. Xmas shopping is pretty much done. Jans did an epic job wrapping one of the presents. I will have to show pictures. Still working on a painting I'm doing for one recipient. Learned acrylic is not my medium. Wouldn't have thought it the case when I rely so heavily on layers in Photoshop, but I seem to prefer blendy media. Still need to do more playing with oils to find out if it's something I really enjoy before I drop the money on a starter kit for it. Discovered again how much I enjoy stringing beads. Got an H1N1 shot today. I wasn't sold on it, but Jans brought up a good point in that we're going to be on an airplane in three weeks. Speaking of which, we had a flight cancellation on the way down and are now going through Dulles. I'm not complaining. Longer layover and getting in later, but less chance of weather delays than through Chicago.

I should share some writing here, at least the snippets that aren't going to go anywhere else for a while. I submitted "The Grind" - the flash fiction I posted here some time ago - to a magazine and got a rejection that actually stated the reason for rejection, which made it feel less like one. Halcyon got rejected from another agent, too. Need to submit that to another one.

For now, I need to get ready for bed.

Quote from Jans. Tux is being extra lovey tonight. XD

And on that note... I DID IT!

I was a bit behind after the weekend, especially since I was too distracted to write much yesterday evening after we got home from the mother-in-law's, but a productive lunch break at work today got me to within 2,500 words of the finish, and dedication brought me the rest of the way, despite watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy! on our BRAND NEW TV. Holy carp, does that picture look nice. Unfortunately, it was our old DVD player that had an HDMI connection, but even still, some DVDs look beautiful on this. We're all modern now, haha.

Anyway, NaNoWriMo was even less significant and passed by even quicker than the past two years, and I'm less attached to this story than the previous ones. If something more is going to become of this one, even just self-publishing, it won't be without some good work cleaning it up and smoothing it out. I haven't even reread any of it so far, and I did quite a bit of that in the past two years.

But, if anyone's interested in reading it, I'd be willing to share. Just let me know. I'd also love to read anyone else's NaNos!

It's done!!

Still have lots more linking and promoting to do, but it's late. =P I posted the cover to Side 7, anyway:



The next few days are going to be crazy, so I might not have much to say 'til next week. Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow U.S. citizens!

I wrote two days' worth of words today! I was hoping to hit at least 2,000 per day this week to prepare for the weekend, but I just got so into the story today. It's actually nearing its end, in a refreshingly convenient way. Not extending past 50,000 words by another 75,000 like Aurius did, nor uncertain I'm even going to make 50,000 like Halcyon, this is shaping up to be right about 50,000 words. At least on first draft.

I think I'll still put in the effort to polish this story up after I'm done and perhaps self-publish it. If Halcyon can be good without being perfect, why can't this one?

UH OH I'm getting ideas for a different story now. I like focusing on writing. I am anxious to finish up the calendar cover, though. I shaded it yesterday! Just need to colorize it.

Well, better start making lunch for tomorrow if I want to get to bed on time.

I have officially caught up in my word count.

In fact, I read my stats graph wrong and wrote tomorrow's count, too. Which is fortunate, because I wanted to devote tomorrow to working on the calendar cover. It's all that's left and I really want to get it done. Although, since we're going up north next weekend, it might be best if I built up a little surplus.

For now, though, after a 10,000-word push today, I am seriously writed out.

I'm quickly becoming unenamored of my story. Oh, the writing's going well enough - though I forgot to update my word count Thursday so my 2k push last night is less impressive - but deep down, it's just a cheesy story. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't already written a novel with a silly premise two years ago. And, alas, I don't think anything short of significant changes to the core aspects of this story will save it.

I'll keep writing, for sure, 'cause I said I would, and I'm still shooting for 50k, though that FAIL Thursday put me back to 6,000+ words behind. But, I'm starting to think I should focus on developing some of the ideas I have jotted down in my ideas log. I have a lot of far more original ideas there, though they're just vague concepts perhaps suitable primarily for short stories at this point. But perhaps with more expansion, I can make longer works out of them - or heck, it wouldn't hurt for me to write a few short stories again. I should also focus on those novel ideas that are more original; I'm pleased enough with Eyes, if I can get the characters to talk to me a little faster, and I have one other story that's been developing nicely.

Plot has ever been my biggest challenge in writing. And I suppose it's not a bad thing that a story doesn't work out now and then. And that's the whole point of NaNo, right? Experimentation and learning. And pounding out 50,000 words of potential crap.

That said, I have a 6,000-word deficit to resolve. And a calendar cover I still want to finish.

Wrote 6,000 words today. Still just over 6,000 words behind, but it's not over yet. My little progress chart is looking a lot better now.

Disappointments from yesterday:

- No time to write even one word.
- Camera decided to screw up for the first time ever just as I was going up to get Andre Agassi's autograph.
- No dedication, no conversation, just scribble scribble next after no more than five seconds at the table.
- Almost no time with Jans the entire day.
- Computer room is now even more crowded than it was before.
- The restaurant in the mall, which was actually quite good, has closed.
- I was beaten at swordfighting in Wii Sports Resort. This will not stand.*

Good things from yesterday:

- We had people over!
- Got to see more of Wii Sports Resort. Discovered watching people canoeing or cycling is highly entertaining.
- Got some sweet shots of a hawk on the way home from the disappointing autograph session.
- Once the line started moving for said autographs, it actually moved very quickly.
- Man, does our place ever look nice after all the cleaning we did to have people over.
- Got to put up a handful of my stuffed animals which had been sitting in a box in the closet and hung up some stuff on the walls.
- Wii Sports Resort x10.

All in all a good day. It's fun having people over. Wish we could do it more often. Anyway, now I must ignore the internet and write, as I should be at 25,000 words by the end of today and I am nowhere near that.


* No, this wasn't really a disappointment. But it still won't stand.

1. I found a cubic zirconia in the parking lot at work!

2. It occurred to me on the way home that for what I just spent on Wii Sports Resort and an extra Motion Plus, I could've gotten a classic controller and enough Wii points to download probably 10 games. XD

3. I don't remember number three. I'll get back to you on that.

EDIT: I take back what I said before. Wii Sports Resort is AWESOME. And I've only played the two games from the original Wii Sports so far!

My first mailed birthday card came from the temp agency. XD Good thing we went up north this weekend, I guess, 'cause otherwise it would've been my first card.

In NaNo news, I'm now over halfway to where I should be by this point. Hardly impressive, but considering I was only just over a third of where I should've been by yesterday, I'll call it promising.

It's a little different writing this story compared to the last two years. I'm writing this almost more like a journal, just kind of experimenting and seeing where it goes. Delving into the characters' lives and seeing what goes on there. I'm also decidedly less concerned about making pretty sentences or passages and just writing what happens. I'm already getting an idea about what things work and what don't, what parts are useful to the story and what can be cut. But, in true NaNo fashion, I'm not concerned about how it's coming out and am just continuing to write. It's a good feeling.

And, since I have already clocked over 3,000 words for the day, I am rewarding myself by watching Jeopardy. Ta!

Aside from their clients - or whatever they're called - does anyone know where I can buy some Mary Kay products? Last year, one of my former coworkers gave me a sample of their lotion and it is AWESOME.

Good music and an inspiring week one pep talk e-mail finally got the juices flowing tonight. I'm still only just over a third of where I'm supposed to be by this point, but I'm feeling optimistic. It is still early in the month, after all. Disappointment that I couldn't get After the Magic to work is fading with the progress I made tonight. I still have a long way to go, especially since I won't have any time to write tomorrow evening, and possibly won't have much writing time Saturday, as well. Looking to be a nice weekend; we should go out and enjoy it... even if enjoying it means mostly sitting on the patio all day not doing anything like last time. XD Although, I could totally sit in one of those zero-gravity chairs with Hakuryuu and keep writing...

Anyway, I should try to get a few more words in before I start getting ready for bed.

Short story, because I'm already late getting ready for bed - got caught up filling out a character survey for Eyes of a Dragon - still not really working.

I ended up getting sick of moaning over After the Magic last night and started working on an older story idea, now a potential young adult novel, though it's still slow going and I'm still questioning myself with every word. I'm trying to build real characters out of very little information and it's stalling a lot. I should be at 5,000 words by now. I'm actually less now than when I started. I don't really know what's happening. Not giving up yet, but my expectations of actually hiting 50,000 are diminishing.

I wanted to write an excited start-of-NaNo journal entry, but despite having a full day to myself yesterday, an extra hour, and Jans out 'til mid-afternoon, I only barely made my 1,667 words for the day. The writing was not flowing at all.

I've never been able to decide where is the best point to start this story, and top of that, I think I reread Aurius a little too recently, as I started writing it just as a continuation, rather than a book on its own, as it's supposed to be. Yeah, yeah, first draft, but if I don't get some sort of structure in here, I can't get it rolling.

It's causing all sorts of wonderful insecurity issues at the moment and considerations of writing something else. If I'm going to change my mind, now's the time to do it. But then, what to write? Ergh.

We're going up to Janson's mom's next weekend, too. If I'm not on track by then, I'm in trouble.

Man, I haven't stayed home from work/school unexpectedly in a long time. Had some fairly severe dental work done earlier this week and the results of that, and the side effects from the antibiotics, are catching up with me. Although the pain pills are doing their job fairly well, there's still some occasional discomfort, and having to get up in the middle of the night last night to eat so I could take another one didn't help. Figures the one night I actually get to bed somewhat on time this week I can't sleep through the night.

My ideas this week keep getting insaner. It's occurred to me that the reason I haven't been all psyched up over NaNoWriMo is because it just doesn't seem like much of a challenge to me. I've done and won NaNo two years in a row now, and the only reason I cut it close last year was because I slacked off as a result of it not feeling like a challenge.

So, clearly, the only way to resolve this... is to write two novels!

I was thinking about working on a story I came up with several years ago, now a YA novel, which has been on my mind of late. But, since I've gotten some readers and comments on it this week, now I'm considering getting back to my novelization/rewrite of Final Fantasy VI. CRAZY.

Aurius 2 will take precedence, of course... but why not push myself? FF6: Remix is a nice, easy write anyway.

Gads, I'm crazy. XD

EDIT: I love my playlist. Straight from ethnic Indian to classical to industrial.

I've been rereading Aurius this week. I finished my latest ebook last Friday and I didn't want to start on something else so close to November, and I figured that since I'm writing the sequel in a few days, I might as well reacquaint myself with it. Damn it, I don't care if no one's interested in it, I love this story. I love watching Jake's progression. Starting the sequel is going to be interesting. I have a lot of ideas for scenes. I haven't really gotten psyched up about it, but I'm looking forward to November anyway.

I also had a silly idea earlier this week. I'm considering starting a blog highlighting remixes I like. It's been a few days and the idea hasn't died yet, so we'll see. Hah, like I need more writing to do next month. Well, not that that's a bad thing. I've been shamelessly ignoring Eyes lately.

Another idea I had recently was to donate any potential profits from the calendar - when I finish the cover; it'll happen, I swear. Child's Play is affiliated with SickKids hopsital in Toronto, which I'd be all for supporting.

I bought a women's shirt this week. lolz, this is big stuff, people. I'm experimenting with looks. I feel so girly.

(everyone laughs)

I had something of an epiphany recently. Between all these things that have been worrying me - saving up for/looking for a house, starting a career doing what I love, and generally trying to get my life to where I want it to be - I realized that everything's going to be okay.

I also learned that thinking about cupcakes is an excellent way to combat stress.

Funny, this has been on my mind of late. I'm fairly laid back and accepting of people - and let's face it, I'm just not close to many people - so I'm very rarely slighted enough for something to linger.

But I am a scorpio. If I really feel wronged, I don't let go of it. One of my coworkers - who is now moving into the office where I work - came from the same department that I did at my last company, which is bringing up memories of my layoff earlier this year. And I still haven't forgiven my former supervisor for the way she handled it.

See, I e-mailed her on my last week there, telling her that my involvement in the project I was working was ending and I needed more work starting next week. First e-mail was Tuesday or Wednesday. No response. Friday comes, I e-mail again, a little more forcefully, and she replies saying she'll get back to me on it later.

Fine and dandy, I finish my last day on the project, suffer a stressful weekend taking Tiger back and forth from the vet to the emergency hospital after his health deteriorated, and after getting in late Monday morning from taking him back to the vet, I get started on some other little project work I could do.

About 10:00 am, I get called up to one of the conference rooms and there's my supervisor and someone else I don't know. Now, my supervisor worked in a different office about fifteen minutes away from ours. I didn't even know she was coming in, never heard a word from her about the situation at all, and no, I couldn't finish that photocopying I was doing. I got my pink slip and had to turn in my badge right there. I never heard an, "I'm sorry," or a, "Thanks for all your hard work," after she pushed me to take the job some six months earlier when I was still happy at reception. She's not there three minutes before she walks out, leaving me alone with the HR person with the paperwork, who at least has a heart about it. I am still pissed that my supervisor made me cry and glad at least that she didn't see it.

What really irks me about the whole mess, though, was that Jans got an e-mail that Friday asking him to come in to the head office for a meeting on Monday morning, during which I later found out he was told about my layoff. The fact that they had thought it out enough in advance to inform him on Friday but couldn't deign to even let me know that my supervisor was coming on Monday really gets under my skin. It's just a good thing he ended up getting there a few minutes early and had enough time to rush back to the office and take me home, 'cause otherwise I would have had to walk out of that office and take a fragging cab home.

I even learned an interesting new fact regarding this whole mess recently. Apparently, my supervisor told my superior and the big boss at the office where I worked that I was going to be moved to a different office the week before I was let go. I guess that explains even more why my superior - a very brusque, but genuinely nice woman - was also ticked about the whole ordeal.

At this point in my life, I can't think of any other grievances that I still cling to... or, heck, ever did. But it's been eight months now and my feelings haven't subsided a bit in this regard. I thought my supervisor seemed nice enough on the occasions I actually saw her, but I didn't really know her, and as a result, even if she wanted forgiveness, I really don't think I could give it. Even if the company wanted me to come back, I wouldn't work under her again. I'm a bit relieved, at least, that Jans fully supports me for holding it against her.

Ever since I met myself, reality hasn't been the same.